This isn’t a satire on ultra-liberal California.
FOX News 40 reports:
“After a violent weekend of suspected gang-related shootings, Tuesday the Sacramento City Council took action to reduce the bloodshed.”
“It approved a controversial program called Advance Peace, which offers cash stipends to gang members who remain peaceful.”
“The program targets key gang agitators, offering them cash stipends to graduate [from] school and remain peaceful…But the city would still have to pay half the cost of the program, $1.5 million out of the city’s general fund.”
In other words, Sacramento, the capital city of the state of California, has surrendered.
Investigations, arrests, prosecutions, and prison sentences won’t cut it.
Here is the scenario that comes to mind. A suburban teenager on the outskirts of the city shows up in his parents’ living room one day with the tattoo of a grinning skull on his neck.
“Don’t be upset,” he says. “I’m joining a gang. I’ll still get good grades in school, but when I graduate, the city will give me a cash prize. I can use the money to start my own tech firm in our garage…”
But this is piddling stuff. Let’s go all the way to Governor Jerry Brown’s office. Let’s have a state-wide “advance peace” program. The state, which is already $500 billion in debt, when you add in unfunded future liabilities, could throw a billion dollars into a pool.
Over a period of, say, five years, the money would be doled out to gangs, based on their performance. Subtract $250,000 for every gang killing in the state, $125,000 for every wounding, $10,000 for every property crime, $1000 for every drug bust. Whatever is left over for the gangs is their gravy.
Eventually, through negotiation, replace the California legislature and governor with gang members. Let them run things.
I’m just trying to be helpful. I see the direction policy is taking, and I want to give it a boost and quicken the pace.
After all, when gang members end up taking over the state government, all gang crime would cease.
It would be reclassified as government corruption.
Pop the champagne corks. Problem solved.